


Retrieve What Was Lost

by Abe897



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Homecoming, Imagined sexual scenario, In Love, Infinity War Feels, Loss of Virginity, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Peter is 17, Peter is a Virgin, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Protective Tony Stark, Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Starker, ah but it will all turn out fine, but he kind of has ptsd, but i promise it will soon not be so imagined, confused idiots, eventually, i think, kind of Daddy Kink, peter's not dead anymore, teen angst (TM), they will have sex, tony's guilty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 15:20:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17327465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abe897/pseuds/Abe897
Summary: Peter can't sleep after being brought back from the snap. Tony tries to help him the best he can. It would just be easier if Peter would let him.And it would certainly also help if those feelings that Tony felt for the kid weren't of a romantic nature.Peter discovers that he wants Tony in other ways than just as emotional support or as a mentor. In which he makes it quite difficult for Tony.A story with a spark of angst, a dash of innocent love which equals the telling of two idiots in love.





	Retrieve What Was Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is the second fanfic I've ever written. English is my second language (spelling, grammar and commas might be off). Peter is 17 and Tony is however old he is in the movies (which I know might be problematic to some of you) (which I can totally see) (but also it's legal where I'm from) (Denmark), and they will be fucking later on, though in this chapter we have a lot of sexual tension, and Tony jerking off.   
> Also there's a bit of anxiety in the beginning (and there will probably be more) since I certainly was in a teen angst(TM) mood when I wrote the first bit, so yeah good luck with that, haha.
> 
> Uh anyway this is the first chapter, I hope you enjoy!

Peter knows he's dying.  
The binding force of his molecular structure is failing.   
It doesn't hurt. But knowing that it's the end, makes it unbearably painful.  
He's crumbling into fine dust now, and he will soon feel nothing. 

Faint words drummed through Peter's head. He wanted to answer, but the words wouldn't take form. He tried yelling louder but it made no difference.   
The muffled calls were calling for him. Oh, how he wanted to answer. How he wanted to break free from the darkness.   
But the darkness wouldn't allow it. It wouldn't allow any of its preys to break free once it had been caught. The sharp shiny claws was digging into Peter's skin, securing its grip even more.   
Peter wanted to scream from the pain of the claws entering his tender flesh but the darkness was now in his nose, mouth and throat suffocating any and every sound.   
A burning sensation started to whelm up in his eyes, as the beast devoured him.

"Kid!"

The muddled calling started resonating through the darkness, becoming clearer.   
The darkness retracted from his throat, and he let out a desperate sob.

"Ki- Peter!" 

The voice was slightly exasperated, but it planted a feeling of safety in Peter.  
The darkness was slowly starting to retreat. Almost as if it had been frightened the voice.

"It's a nightmare." 

The voice was closer now, and the warmth that graced it rubbed off on the cold domain of the darkness. Cracks of light was unwillingly let through by the weakening beast.

"Wake up." The voice said, and Peter finally did.  
He was sobbing still as he opened his eyes, meeting with mr. Stark's warm, brown ones. One of his hands was gently rubbing Peter's back, and a worried expression was to be found in his eyes. 

"Having a little nightmare, huh?"   
He tried to seem less worried than he actually was, but Peter saw through it. 

"Yeah..."   
Peter rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he had just been crying, even though it was obvious that mr. Stark had seen it. They were back in the lab, and mr. Stark still had one of the small screwdrivers in his hand. Peter must've dozed off as they were tinkering with a piece of technology.

"Just a little one..."   
He said and looked up at Tony, flashing him a soft smile. He tried to seem unaffected by the nightmare, tried to look unaware of the desperate crying he did in his sleep. He truly did. 

But Tony of course saw through it. He always did. Being able to pick up on all his lies, wether they be big og small.  
He shook his head, "no, you don't have to do that."   
He gave Peter a stern look, but Peter, dumb that he was, decided to continue the lie even though he knew it was useless. 

He dropped his smile and lifted his brows.  
"Do what?"   
His voice had risen just a little bit, which he knew wouldn't help him seem reliable, but he couldn't prevent his voice from doing that.  
Mr. Stark's eyes locked with his and Peter felt as if they were able to read his every emotion. Perhaps even his thoughts.

At first he felt overwhelmed, almost as if he was being scolded, but when Tony's eyes softened up a bit, a warm fuzzy feeling, started up in Peter's stomach. It reminded him of a small pulsating flame.   
Tony looked down at the small screwdriver that still lied in his hand, as if he remembered his mom telling him something about not staring at people. He placed it on the table and scratched his head. 

"I don't want you to pretend that you're okay. Pretend that I don't know what the nightmare before was about. I just want you to be real about how you feel with everything that... happened - with... uh - Tha-" He was quickly cut off by Peter. "I know what episode you're talking about! And really..." 

He paused a bit not knowing exactly how to word himself.  
The possibility of admitting to putting on a facade didn't exactly exist in his mind at that moment, so he continued down that flawed road, that was destined to lead to a dead end.

"And really I'm fine! Wait- not just fine! I feel great. I don't worry about it anymore. Like it's amazing! I don't even think about it. I barely even remember it! Which is a bit weird, right? Like it's only been, what 3 months? But, you see if I don't worry about it, then neither should you!"  
Tony kept quiet waiting for the kid to finish his rambling.

"I would really hate for you to worry about me! And y'know I can see that you're still guilty, which you totally shouldn't be!"  
Peter's voice had risen to a higher pitch, and the speed in which his words came out was so fast that he forgot to take breaths in between.   
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, a little overwhelmed by the fast speeded quipping from the kid. 

"Like, I'm a kid with super strength, not to mention I'm Spider-Man! And a kid with a strength like mine, wouldn't be too broken up over what happened. Right? Really, I'm a-okay, mr. Stark. So, yeah no need to worry! No need at all!" 

He finally successfully stopped himself from talking, and squirmed a little in his chair.   
He tried leaning back in his chair, but it felt unnatural and stiff. He tried to relax his shoulders a bit. Which also did not work at all for him, so he ended up sitting awkwardly back in his chair, shoulders weirdly positioned, not knowing where to put his hands. 

"So uuhhh... Yeah it's all good, y' know."  
Tony cut in. "Jesus kid... Just... uh y'know stop talking for a moment." He looked at Peter, who winced a little punching himself in his face mentally, for literally not being able to shut the fuck up. 

Tony's annoyed eyes softened a little when he noticed Peter's insecurity and he smiled gently to him conveying kindness. Peter's shoulders began loosening up a bit, and he smiled back softly.

"Kid just listen to me when I tell you that ignoring and shoving your feelings and memories down isn't going to be very helpful. It might feel like it's easier to do just that right now, but it's going to become a deep rooted problem. Believe me, if anyone would know, it's me." 

Peter felt kind of guilty, without knowing exactly why and he squirmed a little under Tony's gaze, despite the softness that graced it.   
He tried to keep up their eye contact but had to avert his eyes after a few seconds. Peter could still feel Tony's burning gaze on him even when he didn't look, but Tony eventually let him off the hook, and looked away.

"But I won't force you to talk about it if you're not ready. I just hope you'll eventually feel ready, and know that you can come to me if you feel like it... heck it doesn't even have to be me, just talk to somebody about it!"

Peter finally looked up at Tony, fighting the tears back. He could see the sadness and guilt that were painted on his mentors face. Which was probably what made Peter feel guilty too. 

"I-i'm sorry mr. Stark."   
An anger swept over Tony's face briefly. His jaw clenched ever so slightly. But then it quickly became dormant and Tony looked more distant than anything else, though the sadness still lingered. He mumbled as he stood up from his chair. "Don't say you're sorry, kid."

He ruffled Peter's hair, with his big calloused hand when he swept past him on his way over to the coffee machine.   
Peter felt an even bigger need to cry, because of the warm gesture, but choked down the lump in his throat, threatening the tears to keep away.

Tony came back after a minute or so with a cup of steaming coffee in his hand placing it on the table that Peter sat at.  
"Hey, it's getting late so we should probably take you home before your aunt May starts worrying. Besides it's also bedtime for a spiderling like yourself."   
Peter tried smiling once again, but he didn't like the thought of that at all. 

Being at home in the bedroom he'd have since long before the incident. A room that reminded him of a simpler happier time that he would never be able to get completely back. Being forced to lay in the darkness begging his body and brain to let him sleep, but waking up covered in sweat every time he had succeeded, and slept for more than five minutes.   
No, that didn't sound comforting at all to Peter. 

Tony must've noticed the reluctant silence that had fallen on Peter.  
"Well you can also stay here if that seems more appealing to you."   
He placed one of those warm big hands on Peter's shoulder again, and Peter blushed at it without knowing exactly why mr. Starks hands had that effect on him. They seemed almost fatherly, but they certainly didn't feel that way to Peter. 

He swallowed slightly and looked up at Tony.  
"That would be really nice, mr. Stark. I-if it's not too much trouble of course! 'Cuz I really don't want to be an annoyance y'know! So-"   
He was stopped by Tony's hand that moved up to caress his cheek. His breath hitched in his throat, and he could feel his cheeks burning at what felt like the sun's degrees. "You couldn't annoy me even if you tried, kid."   
Tony's voice was deep and warm and it filled Peter's stomach with butterflies. 

Peter looked up into Tony's eyes, through his eyelashes, his breath shallow.   
He licked his lips ever so slightly, his tongue wetting his red lips, catching the attention of Tony's eyes.   
Tony's thumb moved over to caress his warm, blood filled lips. 

Peter's heart threatened to pound out of his chest, and he begged to God that Tony couldn't hear it.   
Tony lingered in a fraction of a moment, and then quickly unhanded Peter soon after as if he snapped out of a daze. He turned away from Peter and grabbed his mug. 

Peter sat still in a complete daze wondering what had just happened. Tony cleared his throat awkwardly and spoke still not turning to face Peter.   
"You can sleep on the sofa in the living room. There should be a blanket on it, otherwise ask FRIDAY. FRIDAY can also help you find some nightwear. Oh, and I'll contact May."

Peter looked over at the older mans back, silently wishing for him to turn and face him. Wishing to see his face. Perhaps he would be able to see what Tony felt, like he always did with Peter. 

But Tony didn't turn, and Peter could feel that he had no choice but to comply, and leave the lab, when a fair amount of seconds had passed.

"Okay, mr. Stark... uh goodnight..." He awkwardly slid out of the office chair, and walked out towards the living room. 

 

\------

 

Tony closed his eyes tightly in distress after Peter had gone. What the hell was that?! 

He shook his head. Why had he been so intensely focused on the kid's lips? Well he wasn't unattractive, not at all. Quite the contrary, actually as he was a beautiful boy... A boy that Tony would never do anything to. Because that was just- just completely wrong. Yeah, how old was the kid now? 17, right? Too young. 

Though it probably hadn't been the first time Tony felt something like that.   
Something that he kept brushing off as just a mentor/student feeling, or even as fatherly affection, but this couldn't be explained away with those false pretenses.

Tony sighed exasperated. He wouldn't mind getting just a bit drunk right about now. Going to bed afterwards. And perhaps getting a little release. 

It had been an incredibly long time since he'd last had any sex or had even just pleased himself, the good old days he knew from his younger days. He hadn't really had the desire to do it, with all that had been going on. And that had probably been why a teenaged kid could seem so attractive to him. He sighed again in distress. 

Who was he trying to fool. These thoughts were nothing new. Quite the contrary. He loved the kid, and Peter sure had a way of awakening something of a desire deep within him. 

Man, he'd been so close to crossing that boundary. Done something stupid. Heck! The kid probably already knew after his perverse mindlessness almost had gotten the best of him. That was something that he could never let happen. 

He sat there in silence in the lab for a little while, filled with thoughts of self loathing. Then his eyes fell upon the decanter that was placed further down his lab by the couch. 

He filled up a glass with ice cubes and some single malt scotch, and then proceeded to downing it in its entirety in one go.  
He then refilled it and repeated the action. 

 

\-------

 

Tony made his way up the stairs, after some time hugging the glass tightly in his hand down in the lab. He gripped the stair railing and frowned. It was incredibly difficult to make it up the stairs. Had they always been this weird? It was as if the height of each step had increased. Or it was probably just his motor skills that were severely compromised. 

He went slowly, finding it quite difficult to lift his feet the amount the stairs recquired of him, but he eventually made it to the top step.

 

He went past the living room where Peter was sleeping, and stopped by the couch where the boy lied sprawled out with his long slender limbs stretched in different directions.   
Tony almost smiled at that. Peter was so cute, sleeping messily like this. Tony's eyes fell upon his tank top on the kid, oversized as it was because of their size differences, rolling of his shoulder. Showing off his pale skin which was accentuated by the moons silver light.   
Revealing a shy little pink nipple, that was placed on a chest that rose and fell in perfect repetition. 

Tony swallowed hard. He could feel himself growing stiff almost blushing at that, angry with himself. He pulled the blanket up closer around the boys small frame, and carefully removed a stray brown curl that had moved dangerously close to Peter's eye. Then he removed himself from the boy's presence.

 

\------

 

Pictures of sweet sleeping Peter flashed before Tony's eyes when he finally made it into his own bedroom. He swallowed again and put his hand down to his hardened penis.   
Would it hurt if he let himself go just this once? Thinking about Peter, his loved spiderling, in lewd scenarios? What Peter didn't know didn't hurt him, right? He let go, the desire to getting himself off stronger than his rational thoughts, that had been severely compromised by the alcohol. 

He started messaging himself, imagining how he would push Peter down.   
Kiss him hard and passionately, showing him how much he loved him. Then, after undressing a blushing kid, he would slowly start working him open one finger at a time, while exploring his body with his tongue. 

Sucking and biting his pale neck and those sensitive rose colored nipples, pinching and lightly twisting the other. Peter would be fisting the sheets, while his sensual boyish voice would be calling out "mr. Stark" in between those sweet moans escaping his lips. 

And then Tony would put himself inside of him. Slowly, letting the boy stretch gradually to accommodate his size. He imagined how Peter would gasp as his tight hole was penetrated by a cock that might be a bit to big for him at first. But he would begin to moan loudly as he stretched to fit in the length and width of Tony. 

He was now pumping his hand harder. He imagined what then would happen next. Imagined how he would proceed to ravish the boy.

He would move slowly while being deep inside Peter, barely thrusting just letting them feel the connection between them. Peter would soon begin to beg for him to go harder, which Tony happily would oblige, until he were fucking the kid into the madras. 

Tears of pleasure dancing on his eyelashes, drool dripping from his gasping mouth. And then he would be screaming for Tony, and warm cum would splurge from him. And his tightness would be twitching around Tony's warm and big cock, until he came too.   
He would pound roughly into him a few extra times as he released deep inside of him, and Peter would only be able to gasp as he took it. 

And at that thought Tony came. He grunted and pulled his cum covered hand out of his pants.   
A disgust with himself spread throughout his stomach. What had he been fantasizing about? His perverted mind making innocent little Peter into something of a man's fantasy? 

He certainly didn't deserve that. No, no. Tony was despicable for even using Peter as something to get off on.  
Tony Stark, that usually hated himself most nights if not all, felt an exceptionally stronger self hatred that night.


End file.
